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countdown: 9 more months
Twitter: Quotes: We might kiss when we are alone, when nobody's watching. We might take it home, we might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared. It's just that it's delicate.
sad
Tuesday, March 4, 2008, 1:57:00 AM
it's a so exciting this morning..went to do my nails at wati's place..woke up early..went to do nails..meet sam late lor..pouring somemore..i took cab to bugis meet her 14 bucks..cab fare..nails done so nice..$80 leiz..good mood ma...so gif uncle $14 instead of $13.40

went to have lunch then darling called to disturb us..so bad =X we chatted also la..then go walk walk..nothing to do ler so we went far east..surprisingly we didn't buy any clothes lor..i bring my big bag go also useless..thought will buy a lot leiz..ended up window shop..go wisma cotton on buy laced top mine's hot pink, sam got e light pink & slippers..sexy!!! walk more & decided to have dinner..went to heerens..wanted to go marche..sam saw this menu outside la..there's this restaurant called "BALCONY" so we go try la..since it's like $19.90 for set dinner..after eating chatted & just laze around lor..then decided go home ler..

cuz' jon haven't reach yet ma..so i accompany sam ter bbp..sit at the car show e table there chat..then darling called..i just jokingly say la..wa finally call ah..like after so long la..he say he eating..then i disturb saying eating or looking at girls...then sam want talk to him so she ask why he record her conversation with him the last time..he laugh..then sam said..aiyo, gf off leiz..you out there playing..like disturb la..then darling told sam: aiya go out with gf no fun 1..friends more fun...it's like wtf la...even jon said that..sam feel that it's too much lor..then she like kind of fed up la..then i continue disturb..i say..wa you go enjoy now la..then bluff bluff give that kind of sian voice..joking de..then i say hang up lor..after that he sms me i thought you're an understanding gf..forget it i don't care liao..irritating..me & sam was like...wtf?? we joke only lor..then he suddenly so pissed..which i don't know why..if he can't take jokes say la..then he say don't find him forever & don't meet him tomorrow & he just can't stand people asking him where he is..i'm like..hello??!??!??? i'm your gf..i cared for you that's why..he said up to you & he had enough..


sam found it so ridiculous la..just joke only then like that say want break up with me..i was crying la..but he's too much lor...sam say his words really hurting..moreover, i'm his gf..i have the right lor..jon came, i explained..he asked me whether it has always been like that..i said yes..told him our life all that..he said this kind of guy can throw le..not only them but lots of people told me ler..he ah, can forget it la...we walked over to the coffeeshop to buy dinner for sam's dad..sat down & talk..jon feel that i should find another guy that can take care of me better than him..he's just useless..can throw ler..he said that darling's just making use of me..like when he need me then look for me..don't need me go look for his friends..it really woke me up at that point when he said that..i do feel that way when he mentioned about it..apparently, it seems so...haiz..on my way walking back, darling sms me..told me to tell him my roster so that once he convert full time he uses his RD to accompany me..i replied that there isn't any need for him to do that..he walk his own, i walk my own life..he replied..just want you to know that i will spend time with you..see you tomorrow...wtf?? just now say what forever don't want see me or meet la..then now want la..think i'm what...ball to play ah..then i told him he wants to break just now de ma..so from the time he said break, i already counted it as break..then he say..you say de ah..ok bye bye..what a reply..i still thanked him for the memories & still said this: this is the last time i'm saying this to you..darling, i love you!! thanks for the memories.. & that's what he replied...shit right...after that he sms me saying: love you...i was walking all the way le ma..to the lao di fang we used to hang out...remembered the time there..remembered how he court me on the 25th aug' 05..the memorable day...& the times we had...i want to end it all..i had enough...every chance i gave him, it's useless..he's taking advantage of it..bad!! things will be well for the first week & all will be back to square 1 after that..it's the cycle i've been going through for 1 1/2 years...i didn't expect any gifts in return when i gave him something..cuz' what i felt that it's the thought that counts...but i remembered him telling me that he'll bring me to the chocolate buffet...that was from last year...he could have made it a suprise on my off day & his off day & bring me out..don't have to wait for me or him to be free then bring me what..but what he chose?? to sit there & give excuses instead of doing something..that's him..it's always him..& he knows is to hurt & make me cry...say hurtful things..hide things from me..feel that i'm naggy when i just want to confide in him, sms him if he don't reply, i'll call him & he finds it irritating cuz' he doesn't like it..now, if you're reading this, get this straight..if i don't care about you or i have other bfs outside, i don't give a GOD DAMN SHIT about you!! so stop saying that can you? if you still can't accept it, find another girl then?? & i'm fucking sure once you're together with her for 1 or 2 years, your PATTERN will show..& you'll find that she's like what i am now...seriously, which gf don't do this?? if that gf don't do this, it goes to show that this FUCKING GF IS AFTER YOUR DAMN MONEY YOU BLOODY FOOL?? i save so much for what?? for this FUCKING MARRIAGE...you think you'll have savings?? none..you even lied to your mum...if you have, i won't have to complain that the cab fare is too expensive...if you stop BUYING THOSE FUCKING USELESS THING then maybe you'll have savings..so stop FUCKING SAY THAT I'M NAGGING ABOUT ALL THESE!! if you don't want to hear then forget it!! i won't say..i'll just find another guy!!! in fact i will!! a better guy than you!!! after you're done with your business with me, tricked me into that & even two-timed me behind my back for a month when i was doing my Os & that i've forgiven you but you don't deserve this chance man..you asked for a chance, i gave you..but you took it forgranted..you think i'm soft right?? now i'm telling you straight..even sam thought you're a good catch until she heard those words & saw the smses you sent...you're a changed person..even jon who don't even know me well, said you've changed...so tell me now..who's the changed for the better & who's the one sacrificing everything for this FUCKING BOY HERE WHO DOENS'T EVEN APPRECIATE OR CHERISH ME!! WHY AM I STILL FUCKING TREAT HIM WELL??

to you: you may have hurt me countless times but time & again, i kept quiet..i really had enough..it's not a game!! i'm not your puppet!!!

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