guess what...worked with daph today again =) with aslinda & kak mas...it's a 2 sector only...omg!!! so fun!! everything was done quickly....haha...nothing to do on the flight..i was really tired...hated morning flights that much...

same thing happened again...wanted to have something to eat...but then, i couldn't...still feel like vomiting...sigh...tummy wasn't feeling very good either...my giddy spells has been back again...this time, it's so much worse...when i'm seated, it should be better but then it didn't...at times, i have blackouts...my head will spin non-stop...sigh...i don't know what's happening to me...i told daph about it...she suggested me to go to the doctor's to check it out...plus i found out something...*it's not red, it's brown* sigh....why?? i'm really scared...so scared of what's going to happen to me...it's as if i got weaker each passing day...i don't want my mum to worry...even though i let her know, what's the use...all she will do is to nag...about me anyhow eating my food, blah blah blah...i still remembered the other time when i had gastric, he accompanied me to the doctor's, i was really scared...scared it might not be what i want to hear...as in something that will cause me to lie in hospital for days due to the massive pain i had...he told his mum about it, i won't forget what she did...she fed me with that "thai" medicine which helps really lots...plus she passed me ointment & asked me to rub it on my tummy...what about my mum?? all she said was: why waste money when you have the other medications at home?? that was when she saw the medicine i got from the doctor's....she didn't even asked what happened & stuff...sigh...was so hurt...

what will it be this time...going to the doctor's alone??? i don't think i can do it ba...my giddy spells has been very bad these days...thank god that i didn't faint while working...it would be terrible...while on ground, my giddy spells are back, while on air, i felt nauseous...it's been days since i last ate properly...when i was recovering from that incident, i was fine le after 3 weeks...lately last week, it came back...i didn't have the appetite to eat....i know myself very well, i can eat like a pig!!! i'm serious!!! but now, when i'm served with food, i can just eat a few mouth spoon & i'm full...sigh...colleauges all saw & asked what happened?? they were SHOCKED!! even daph...saw fifi just now...she took over our aircraft plus we had to do FULL AIC cuz' someone's onboard...but it's ok, it's his style....hmm...then fifi commented something...

fifi: mel, you look different!!!
me: of cuz' la!! i cut my hair what, duh!!!
fifi: no mel, different as in not your hair la, it's you!!!

we didn't have time to talk...so i went off...all i knew was she kept looking at me from like head to toe...something's like wrong...daph also said, your make up so light...don't need remove la...(that time wanted to remove ma...i got this habit...) seriously, i put on my makeup like how i used to what..the norm, what does she meant by my make up so light?? sigh...i really don't know lor...whether to go to the hospital straight so that when i'm at the doctor's, if they were to refer me to the hospital, at least i won't waste my trip la...but then again, going anywhere to these places ALONE??? sigh...i don't know...

i know, i can't depend on that particular person but it's ok..i'm not saying i'm going to let him know or whatever...he has his life & i don't want to be disturbing him...anyways, it's none of his business already...

sigh, what to do....i don't know why...i have enough sleep but then, i feel lethargic everytime...why is this so...what's happening to me?? i'm having my meals...but just that sometimes, i eat much lesser...it's not as if i don't eat right?? sigh...

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!! AND, SHOULD I GO TO THE HOSPITAL OR TO THE DOCTOR'S???? ARGH!! HOW FRUSTRATING BEING SO WEAK!!!!

went home with daph...know what?? when we came out from the toilet, i realised something!!! we're like sisters that just came back from bangkok lols...know what?? it's a pity i forgotten to take my camera out & take it!!! daph was wearing a white top with black shorts, i was wearing the opposite!!! lols...the black-white clan!!! haha...went to hanis to get peach tart!! my favourite!! while daph got her blueberry cheesecake!! wa, these few days, she eat a lot lei...wait for the bus to come lor...then proceed to take the train at t2...while on the way home, learnt something from her...sorry gal, made you lecture me...but then, i appreciated that she did it...her advices are really good...thanks a lot!!! owe you a treat & showing you around bangkok *promise!!!* while at don't know which stop, someone just smsed me..thought it was who cuz' it was an unknown number...inside me was thinking, wth!!! that time got 1 diao person send me christmas greetings without any name when asked who was he/she, didn't reply...wth...diao right??? then now another one...opened & read...the sms said turn to your right..i was like..........wth...what's this person trying to do...mysterious guy ah??? but obviously i know he's on the train la...duh!!! then look around, there isn't anyone in sight that i knew of...then ah ha, i saw him...it was alan aka waikin..xfactor de...wave to him lor...daph asked me why i never go over to say hi, i said, i wave to him liao ma...haha...then can't be go p.s her what...continued our talk lor...

alighted at je she came out, i was like, why are you out...she said, i'm going to imm what...what are you thinking...lols...i thought she going home...sorry la, i got STM!!! plus i wasn't feeling very good le...luckily i got her to accompany me throughout the trip...else, i don't know what will happen man...went to yew tee to do threading...went there yesterday, so confident lei..when i got there, diao, shop close...by then it was too late...i only remembered shit, it's christmas that's why it's not opened!!! lols...wasted trip...went to ntuc buy some biscuits lor...that was yesterday...haha...but today, i really did threading!!! wa, it was so much better than gombak de...although the shape wasn't what i wanted la..but overall still acceptable...the service was damn good!!! offered to apply lotion on your brows once you're done...=D next time i'll go there le...reached home, first thing i heard was go sweep the floor!!! hello, i just came back, can't you see?? heck lor...rested awhile then go bathe...nua lor...then had dinner, watched tv & here i am...watching the 9pm show to keep myself occupied with things...i must make myself extremely busy man!!! i shall become a busy girl...opps...it's raining!! & the rain reminds me of something...hmm...cuz' i don't close windows when it rains...only...hmm...ya...everything will link...i just don't know why...i'll try not to habour those thoughts...i'm trying here alright!!! yeah, i can do it...

to myself
when you fall, don't give up..instead take your time to get yourself up & start again...people would not laugh at you for you had the courage to step out & make the first move...life is not about floating on the sea...the more you float, the further you drift...think of ways to get ashore...not to continue floating...even if you had failed, at least you know that you did tried, it's just that the method doesn't work...
STOP crying...crying won't resolve anything...you can cry but promise to cry just to let it all out & then stop...move on, get ahead in life...remember the CREED TO LIVE BY?? that small poster you bought at mustafa after the breakup...live by that...don't stumble!!! you can do it melissa!!! jiayou!!!

p.s: it seems that there are more people coming to my blog but then, my tagboard is just so quiet..do chat with me la...

Labels: shit and i just started to get dizzy again...