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countdown: 9 more months
Twitter: Quotes: We might kiss when we are alone, when nobody's watching. We might take it home, we might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared. It's just that it's delicate.
i've woken up!!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008, 4:08:00 PM
after so much thoughts just now,

i think it's better this way cuz' i didn't know what i wanted...perhaps this was what i really wanted...maybe after doing this, he is really able to do what he wants...he really is free...has his own freedom better than then...i knew that when i started out that conversation, allowing him to hear, it's going to cost me something more...i'm going to hurt myself even more...but do i deserve this...i just wanted to do it so that he can know more friends freely...people think i'm stupid, i'm childish...how they want to think, i can't stop it...this is how i felt...this is my blog...this is my space for venting on...cuz' i have nobody to turn to...

now that this is really over, whether i think too much or not, it doesn't really matter...we really are going to lead our own lives without each other in our minds...i knew the day will arrive...yesterday was the day...perhaps i really wanted this outcome knowing that it's going to cost the chance of getting back together...this way, he can really do what he wants now...as long as he's happy, it's alright...seeing him tell me about what had happened that sun, i can tell that he's really happy...he has never been so happy before...after today, there's no more "he, him, anything to do with him" in my sentence...i must think of the "me, i, myself, all about me" settle myself & finding myself before caring about others...no more sheilding him, no more speaking up for him & no more excuses of him...

melissa, it's now time, you already know this will happen, you expected the outcome...go for it since you want it this way...whether he wants to ignore you, just don't bother...if he really wants you, he would've came back...so now, all you do now is to care about yourself...nothing but you & yourself!!! it's time to wake up & stop all the nonsense & stop putting him in your life first...live for yourself, not him...just take it that he hates you to the core now so that you can really ignore all this...just keep yourself distracted...find things to do....YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!!! this is the last chance for yourself...no more empty promises you kept the last time when you promised that you can do it...these are just words that you said but make sure you will do it...cheer up girl, there are so much things for you to do out there...this is the break you need...jiayou girl!!!!

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