as the title says so, this is really tough...i'm going through this hard time...sigh...it all started because of me...well, i asked for it..but the status now would be slightly better...you would automatically call me when you miss me...i didn't have to call you & gave you the wrong conception & that you'll find me irritating...i paid a price...a BIG PRICE! but it's ok...it'll all soon be over..how long may i know? i'm not sure too...
just take things a step at a time...i'll wait till the day you overcome this barrier...i promise you that this is the last time...if it doesn't work out, i promise you, i'll really leave you alone forever...
i know it's hard now but i have to accept the fate i am in now...maybe god wants me to learn the hard way to make me realise something...something that i won't even think about when we're together as i'm selfish...but thanks to god that i'm slowly begining to accept this although it was a huge impact at first...but for now, let's all start afresh...you do what you enjoy doing while i will catch up with times i hadn't had with my friends, family & maybe doing my stuff like playing the guitar...i haven't being doing that for almost 2 years...i'm so sorry towards the way i treat you sometimes that made us all be like that...well, i take it positively as a lesson in life which i can never experience it with someone else...let us all move forward!! till the day comes, don't think about anything...we can still chat normally but that is when you called or sms me...i won't even think about it till you do that...i just let you have your breather =)
smiles to you & hoping that you'll overcome this barrier one day =) looking forward to that day everything would be over & let us create that new future...that future that used to be so carefree, we can even hide nothing from each other =) i promise!! nothing will come across us, no barriers, other people nor even life...let's await that day patiently =)
p.s i will really forget all that has happened...i know it's not your fault...perhaps now it's a good time for you & me to sort everything out....it's hard i know but it takes time...i'm having a hard time too...sleepless nights, waking up almost every hour, having chest pains due to massive crying, headache, throbbing heart, clammy hands, jelly legs, abstrain myself from smsing & calling you, not having the appetite to eat, not being myself, thinking about how it was my fault...
but it's ok...it'll all soon be over someday...that day will come but for how long i don't know...till the day we put over the past & overcome it, we'll start all over again...meanwhile, do what you're supposed to do...i'm sure you got lots of tests coming up...jiayou!!! you can do it...as for me, i'm having my exams soon...will be busy preparing that & keeping myself occupied...
to me
i'm actually glad that this has happened...although at first i'm almost breaking up into pieces...i really can't stand the agony i've been going through...but, listening to people makes me really wonder that at times i'm at fault too...but then, nobody is to be blamed...these are all lessons that god had created for us to learn...perhaps i was too stubborn, in fact we both were stubborn...doing things which aren't right...but now, i'm letting all that go...allowing the agony to come to me...that blow really blew me up...but i thank it for happening =)
to the people i've been meeting & talking about this...A BIG THANK YOU!! thanks for being there when i need you...thanks for the little advices...thanks for being truth with the conversations & not hiding things which i supposed to know...thanks for the time spent although you guys could've done something which you need to do....really a big hug to you guys...you know who i'm talking about, it's you...thanks so much people for allowing me to realise this important factor...it is part & parcel of life & a hard lesson learnt...together, let's hope that when the day comes & that we're all together, we've already put that painful past way back & starting a new future that has been awaiting for that long long time...once again, thanks =D
*loves & hugs*
Labels: it's hard but i'm taking it slowly