now i know the reason why the mrt was jammed yesterday while on my way to work...my dad's temple friend's mum jumped...sigh...it was so sad man...she's such a nice lady...sigh...plus i was like cursing la...which idiot jump mrt...omg man..it's someone that i knew..i didn't know things will turn out to be like that...due to a quarrel with her son, she did this...sigh...life's really unpredictable..at times like this, choose not to end your life like that...it's really that bad...you should end your life gracefully...like telling yourself, wow, i did something meaningful in my life and now god has come to take me away...so i'm letting go...something like that...not that i want to die now...there are so many things to do better than to end it that way...

sigh..after talking about this, i realised, who am i to talk about others...i'm not even fit to say about people..i, myself have been avoiding the reality...kept runnning away from it...refusing to face the fact that even how i run away from it, there's no end to it...i'll still end up with the problem and not solve it...sigh..ACCOUNTING...it is really challenging...i can't really understand...and i am avoiding this module...seriously..i didn't went to school today...stupid me...AGAIN LOR...why am i avoiding..what am i really afraid of...sigh...can i just like wake up and move on...and not being like a tortoise hiding in a shell...shit man...sigh...stupid lor...where has the never-give-up spirit of melissa gone to?? argh...perhaps i just need to be alone here to push myself up ba...jiayou ba melissa...i have to go through this...i remembered what gary had said...everyone needs to go through lotsa setbacks..the path ahead isn't always smooth..if it is, then how do people learn and become stronger?? you need to fall and feel the pain, only then you will learn..just like learning how to ride the bicycle...yeah gary, i am trying...i'll have to do it all over again...since now, i only missed the 4th lesson plus the third lesson on monday, i told myself, i can't be a tortoise forever..i need to wake up now...jiayou...

i wished that life just can be simpler...but alas, it can't...well, what i have to do now is to improve myself and keep moving on girl...nobody can help themselves unless "I" help myself...

even though i didn't attend classes but i did my revision at home...really...i am just slow in all these...especially things to do with maths..if i can, i'll push myself..the next 2 other modules are also a hurdle to me...i have to get through this hurdle!!! jiayou...

sigh..too much stress now that my giddy spells and head spins are HAUNTING me again...even GASTRIC is coming back...nevermind, i know i can find my way out of these hurdle..i can do it!!!

Labels: jiayou