i'm feeling better..i guess that i'm just too stubborn...perhaps i just need to do something i longed for...just "SOMETHING" which i don't know what...sigh...

had a talk with him not on the phone but through msn...lucky man...but i guess he understood me too well..

he said he did it on purpose knowing what was my plan today...well, if he really did it on purpose then fine!!! i just want us to spend time together..since he said that, then fine!! it did hurt me pricked my heart too much...but on the other hand i was thinking...i didn't lose out...it was him...cuz' ultimately we didn't meet...and when we didn't meet, he blamed me...like saying...see, if you went to gym with me, you could've met me and we could've spent time with each other....

so now, i see, i get the whole picture...i didn't know that he wanted me to have a taste of my own medicine....i didn't know that relationships are like that...i thought it was supposed to be give and take?? at first he said he wanted me to experience what is it like to have missed out on a lot if i slept late..(but duh!! i didn't sleep late on purpose..it was cuz' i was stuck outside!!!) then he continued saying he wanted me to feel how it was to be rejected ( like that time when i went to club on his off day) then after that i said something, he said he wanted me to feel what it is like when everytime he wants to meet me and i don't feel like it..something like that...sigh..and after that he said, no he just purely wants me to be happy and he's saying nonsense cuz' he's feeling too stressed...

well, now i can return you or should i say pour the words back to you...YOU DESERVE IT!! cuz' had you went according to my plan, you wouldn't have felt so stressed and we could've just had fun together...going for the massage and catching a movie after that...enjoying each other's company...

whether you read this or not, i don't care..sigh..i've already apologise what do you want me to do...=((((((

well, but ultimately, you got your point over me and i got mine over to you...sometimes it's not because i'm selfish but you too plays a part...and i'm not as what you think i am..perhaps you really need someone right now to listen and talk to you but then, i need to tell you, it's not me that just chose to kept quiet but then sometimes when i gave my opinions, you'll start to feel like...you know...then after that, instead of getting things right, everything will be ruined..we'll be like quarrelling...do you like it?? everyone will get frustrated and stuff...that's where things will be like ya..getting worse...argh!!!

sigh..i really want to know what you're thinking..it's always you knowing and understanding me but not the other way round...how unfair..you know what i wanted but not me...argh!!! sigh..perhaps you chose to notice all these little little things while i don't or should i say i don't bother...sigh...what has happened..argh!!!

Labels: sad =((((