i don't know what's happening!!! sigh...even D doesn't care!!! argh....all he thinks about now is his game....his game, his friends, he's tired...what more can he tell me!!! doesn't he have a girlfirend to care for, to take care of & to love?? what's this...

i've given him chances time & time & again...what do i gain in return?? NOTHING?!?!?! what i thought in a relationship shouldn't be this way??? are FRIENDS & YOUR GAME so important to you that you didn't even realise how you have neglect someone?? how that someone feels?? i thought by giving him a chace he'll really change for good..but i was wrong!!! wrong always!!! honestly, i'm just sick & tired of this relationship!!! what you've promised before are all empty promises that are not meant to be fulfilled...i know you need time, you need the cash & you want be to be patient...but let me get this straight & clear!!! when you wanted something, did i even made you wait?? without hesitation, i just got you what you wanted..but jjust somethinf from you, it's so difficult...i have to wait for a year!! just long will i have to wait...you have time with your friends...don't mind spending whatever on them..but for me?? ask yourself!!! do you even spare a thought for me?? friends huh?? how long do they last??? do they make use of you?? i may seem like i have lots of friends but let me tell you the fact!!! i don't have any friends!!! in fact, i've been betrayed not only once but many times!!! all i trust is you!! only you!!! to me, what are friends??? they are all useless creatures whom live here...once they've found a new friend, they'll leave you & don't even bother to contact you...think about how you have sacrifice when you were having that friend...what the f*** they even steal your money behind your back without you knowing...let me tell you, a friend whom i once regard as my BEST FRIEND did that...she did that when i was in the toilet..even best friends do that...i have many friends it's true but let me tell you!!! friends to me are those hi & bye friends...they're no longer important to me anymore..have been given so many chances & i've always been betrayed...no longer am i going to trust..not anyone but me!!! they guy that i once loved so deeply & wanted to focus on my Os so that i can prove to my parents & make it an open relationship but what did he do?? even HE cheated on me once...let alone trusting him...why am i living in this world for??? it just sucks!! it sucks big time!!!

now that i'm having headache, even suspecting that i'm having amnesia, is there anyone there to care for me?? can't blame, i don't trust anyone..even he isn't there for me...what did you promise me?? to care for me?? bullshit!!! it's all shit!!! seriously, it's only begun for a few days & then, everything's back to normal...what is this???

do you know how i'm feeling now?? i need your love, your care, your concern!! i just need it..where are you when i needed you the most!!! when you need me, i'm always there...what abojut me??? who can i have!!!! NOBODY!!!!

Labels: life sucks