the best has yet to come!!

the biggest mistake in my life!!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009, 4:35:00 PM

alright..here i am..today i OVERSLEPT!!! it's like so OMGISH!!! how the hell can i overslept?? know why?? it doesn't matter if it's normal school days that i overslept..but for this, i cannot forgive myself...it's my FINAL EXAM!! like how in the world can i missed it?? it goes like this..

i was in my "la-la" land and was still sleeping so soundly till hidayat called me asking me where i was...when i picked up that call, i thought i was dreaming...so i replied i was still at home...then when he mentioned about exam...i was so shocked!!! let alone you...shit lor...when i got there this was what happened..

me: i'm here to take the exam

invigilator: oh, the exam has just ended
me: f***(said it softly and walked away)
mr kern: why aren't you taking the exam?
me: that guy said the exam has ended..so i doubt i can..
mr kern: you ask zhenyi if you can take the exam some other day
me: alright..

zhenyi told me to take the exam tomorrow lor...lucky man...plus tomorrow i'm on standby..i just hope they won't activate me lor...*crosses her fingers* sigh...i'm like so shit...if i didn't overslept none of these will happen and now, i'll be spending my time happy celebrating at which ever club to get over with my exams...argh!!! how man...sigh...or not i'm really enjoying at some club lor...argh!!! all i can blame is myself...

alright time for photos...lots of them...not really that many though lols...

taken when i did KL only...with kelly

she's so hardworking ain't she??

opps..she found out..

and she's having her breakfast lols..

taken on sunday 24th feb 09

i remembered i gave this to him when i was working in precious thots..it has the same birth date as DD hee =D cute right??

we went to east coast where sean's sergent's place there to have stingray...smsed grace but she didn't reply..so we went ahead without her first...lols...then went ended up we didn't want to eat there..too many people...change our direction to bedok...lols...waste time right...then grace replied...so i told her want to join us..she said ok...but she won't be eating...then we went to the place where singapore flyer was...nice place...big too...haha...little shopping shops for tourists...too bad i didn't take pictures...lols...then we went to bugis to pick grace up...we were having problems to tell her how to exit to the bus stop as the exits were blocked lols...then finally we met up and went to bedok for supper...then went back lor..i was so shag man...haha..too tired...

this was taken during lawrence's last day =D i know, he was acting cute...lols..=X

daisy and him

doreen and him

me and doreen

yesterday
after my KL flight, went over to meet jacer to discuss about the insurance plan...decided to take it up cuz' it's beneficial to me...ok lor...haha...then went to meet DD...at first i was so mad...cuz' he told me that he wanted to meet me first ma...then cuz' his friends asked him out he called me and said that i can continue with my friend at jp...i was like....so mad lor...then i was so angry smsed him tell him i don't feel like going over...ask him to meet his friends...he didn't want...so ended up i still went over lor...slept till about 630pm then went to accompany him to have his meal...wasn't hungry so i didn't eat cuz' of the oreo cheesecake i was having earlier when i met jacer...then after that i studied lor...

thanks again for being able to tolerate me in my ways...
i'm glad that we didn't quarrel..i managed to curb my temper..
i didn't questioned you in that way..
glad that i was so lucky,
so lucky to have you around..
glad that we'll be honest with each other..
glad that you didn't flared up but clarified everything and told me everything...
let's just hope it stays this way...
this way till the end...
muackz..

these were taken when nat jie told me...nice ma...

Labels: thank god

my stupid assignment is making me mad!! plus EXAMS!!

Monday, February 23, 2009, 9:35:00 PM

i shall continue this post tomorrow...am going to go crazy cuz' of my assignment...argh...see you guys tomorrow...need to sleep as i'm having an early flight for tomorrow but will be back very early lols..

Labels: tired man

sby day AGAIN!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009, 8:22:00 PM

lols..i know, the title says it all...yeah, it's sby day AGAIN!! hmm....guess whether i got called up anot?? the answer is NO!! hee...i predicted well didn't i...cuz' last night they didn't call me up...so i thought, i couldn't do any flight after that cuz' i'm doing 986 tomorrow...yeah...so ended up i didn't get called up...well, was it a good thing or not??

got awakened by mum's nagging...argh...i thought i could sleep longer...after that i couldn't...guess what in the world happened to my cell!! argh!!! i didn't know what and who activated the RSS reader feeds...i didn't touched it...when i woke up, i just wanted to know the time..so after that when i flipped open, there's this orange thingy there and the menu for all sorts from the net popped out...i freaked out cuz' it will include for the gprs charges!!! argh...then after i tried to figure out why...i can't so i smsed mummy to clarify...no, she didn't activate it...she asked me to call the hotline and cancel it...called but they said i can't deactivate it so yeah...nevermind..so i went to reset the whole settings on my cell...by doing so, everything in my cell will be deleted including all the messages, certain numbers( esp. those that i added recently like a month ago *gawd!!!) then mummy told me it was deactivated...which was good...and guess what?? it doesn't help till i got home...i went through my cell again...found out the cause of it and kept blaming myself...wth have i done..it's all shit...everything in my cell was deleted.. IT'S ALL TOO LATE!! am i stupid or what??? argh...well, i can't blame nobody!!

then DD called..he woke up liao...finally...we went to have lunch together since both hasn't eaten yet...then went to get some stuff..his mum called to ask him to get her popiah..so i told him i continue with here, he can go buy..ended up he said meet me at my place lor =D great idea also so that we don't have to wait for each other =D i went to buy oxy after that..he said it was good...try lor...since the pimple cream doesn't work =)

then he came over..we accompanied each other for awhile...discussed about the cars...thought of sharing with him the cash to be able to afford the car...haha...had discussions about it...i'll wait till after my BKK trip then decide...cuz' by then i don't know how much am i going to spend heh heh =D then after that he went back...need to pack his stuff...he's on night shift today...boo...i wished time would just stop when i'm relaxing...these times always move on so quickly...before you know it, time's up...=(

after he went off, i continued on doing my assignment lor...you may be asking..i thought you've completed it?? yeah, that was the INDIVIDUAL assignment...the one that i'm doing now is the GROUP assignment...man!! too many assignments..it's coming one after another...after that, it'll be EXAMS!!! and i dread exams!!! in fact nobody likes exams!!! lols...well, it's the part and parcel of life that we all have to go through!! JIAYOU MELISSA!! YOU CAN DO IT!!

doing 986 tomorrow...just hope that it's not the boring flight man!! as in pax la...please, don't sleep!!! buy more from us!!! i will love you to bits!! if not we'll just spend most of our time doing nothing lor...so please make our flight a busy one with good sales!!! *keeping fingers crossed*

some reflections

am i always so stubborn and refuse to accept any changes?? am i still the same me as before? can you tell me? i don't want to be like the past...i know i've been repeating these over and over again...have it ever occured to you why?? reason being, i've not found out the answer...been pondering about this...am i doing the right thing now to care less about him...am i becoming overbearing as the days past...like being more and more like my past...starting to gain control of things??? NO NO NO...i don't want that...how is it possible to stop all these...i just want to lead the life i used to have..no fear of anything, freedom to do what i want without even thinking...sigh...how how how?!?!?!!

i just want to walk the aisle with you some day...
i never talked about forever...
as i'm afraid to know the future...
all i want is you by my side...
when i need you,
i just hope that you're a footstep away...
are you able to do that??
not only once but ALWAYS when i need you..
colour my life,
brighten my day...

Labels: and i still ponder about it once again...sigh...

sby day

Friday, February 20, 2009, 10:02:00 PM

today's sby day..i somehow felt that i won't get called up so i stayed up so late last night till about 3am only did i went to sleep hee hee =D but if i do get called up then it's my bad =D but i didn't hee hee...predictions quite on ah...haha...

well, slacked the whole day doing nothing...then after that i went to check my mails...only did i realised that i need to do my group assignment...argh!!! assignment after assignment!! this is so maddening!! after all that i think major exams would be here soon...omg...i'll do my assignment tomorrow....i'm not procrastinating but just to relax myself for a day...yeah...that's all...

cleared lotsa stuff on my com last night and today...it seems faster in a way now...hee hee...great!!! lotsa stuff missing from my desktop...now that i look at it, it seems so much neater than before!! haha..then chatted with nat jie online...about bkk trip...she showed me a few blogs of people who went to bkk...about the hotels they stayed, the clothes they bought hee =D!!! omg man...at that time when i was viewing the photos, i felt like going there straight!! shopping addiction is back man!!! woots!! so i think i should keep about 200 SGD and bring it to bkk just in case i didn't have enough baht haha...i have like 4000+ baht...just so afraid that it's not enough...hee...

then later in the evening, decided to clear some repeated songs i have on my itouch and replace those weird weird wordings( the titles that has these weird looking words) with chinese words...so went to find it on youtube...when it came to jay's songs, i happened to browse to this page where there's this guy who's like so pro in all the guitar tabs and it's like exact same tune when he played the song and played his guitar!!! omg man!!! it's been a long time since i last played the guitar...if i've completed my assignment tomorrow, i'll try and practice on it!!! haha...the other time when i tried playing on my guitar, i seem to have lost touch...shit!!! cuz' i've not touched it for like 3-4 years man!!! boy, it's really long!!! and i miss playing it!! especially plucking of the strings man!! it's so nice instead of strumming the guitar!!! haha...i'm going ga-ga over guitar lols...let's see if i can get hold of a fender in bkk hee...an acoustic one...

well..going to sleep soon...got so many videos that i downloaded from the net...haha...

about yesterday's post, just ignore...
perhaps i'm really being that random...
but i really didn't mean to imply anything to anyone...
just some thoughts about it...
yeah...so don't think too much people and smile =D

Labels: hmm...

just don't understand why..

, 12:18:00 AM

i just got back from work just now...so tired...met him at yishun..he came from ang mo kio..met his friends for kboxing session ma...after meet up lor...like just accompany each other..i was like waiting at yishun...playing with my itouch...or not i'll be like damn bored liao...met liao then went over to ys's house there to have supper...i was so hungry....had the egg tarts for "dinner"..why i " it was cuz' it's not like dinner...like that full liao hee...then after that on the way back started to feel the hunger...so stop by at ys's house there lor...didn't realise that it was like 1130pm liao...if not i should've packet the food instead of sitting there to eat...cuz' he needs to wake up at 6am the next day for his camp...ate liao quickly go back...

was uploading some pictures to photobucket as i have too many pictures on my desktop which is making my lappy damn lag....argh...

alright, being random here...

i just don't know why but maybe it's because i think too much..well, i just want to say this here..too much to keep it all inside...

recently, i just felt that things were just like the way before...it's as if like we're just only friends...that's how i felt..not really much of the love thingy...hmm...perhaps it's just the way things are?? i don't know...i really don't know...no more lovey dovey like that first week...it's so...how should i put it?? like fake?? you mean it only lasts for that one week? hmm...i don't know...in fact, i don't even know what you're thinking now...sigh..am i really that useless...am i really like how i was the way before...i'm so so afraid of the past...it still haunts me..

why is it like it's so different since the day we patched..during the first week, everything was fine..just like how we were the way we used to be...then after that it all comes back to point number one...it may seem like we moved on and stuff but actually, what do we want?? what do we see in this relationship?? what is it that we both want from each other exactly?!?!?

for me, it's just plain simple..being together meaning 2 persons deeply in love with each other showering their care and concern for the other...
which means no matter how tired he/she is, they will take an effort to do something which the other party wants...
no matter how busy,
no matter how hard,
no matter how the temper is,
no matter how far the destination...
all i can say is TRY...
have you given it your best that you really are tired and couldn't make it or is it because you're just plain lazy??
the question is have you EVEN tried?

just by taking that little effort may touch he/she..
it may seem unimportant..
but to the other person ,
he/she may take it that this person is making him/her the priority...
i know what i wrote here may offend a number of people..but these are just my thoughts about it...don't take it to hard...i'm just pinning down how i felt and what i was thinking...

ask yourself this:
when was the last time you made him/her that happy?
when was the last time you cooked for him/her?
when was the last time you went the extra mile for him/her despite being that tired, that rush and that inconvenient for you..
when was the last time you actually did something so sweet that it actually touched his/her heart??
when was the last time that you didn't really mind about his/her attitude and just liked him/her the way he/she is...(as in didn't really "hiam" him/her) because loving a person doesn't mean he/she has to change anything to him/herself to fit into how the other person likes...being in love means to accept the way for how he/she is...there's no need for a change..
when was the last time you actually did something for him/her..like taking care of him/her when he/she is that sick, went down all the way to get something for him/her, doesn't needs to be asked about what he/she likes but just got it for him/her...

all these things...have they ever occured to your minds?? i'm speaking to anyone and everyone who's reading this, which includes me...have it ever ever occured to you..

is being in love/in a relationship causing a person that needs to be changed or
having frequent quarrels which you all know is so unhealthy or
being so nice and sweet towards each other like kissing each other goodbyes when they're leaving..like a simple sms or to wake up at the time he/she needs to go to work no matter how early just to tell him/her heys, please have a great day at work etc. or whispering those sweet nothings to each other or doing something together like a sports or an activity or just having sex almost everyday or not trusting each other cuz' you'll have to guess what he/she is doing as he/she didn't let you know about his/her whereabouts..this is the so called "trust" every couple is talking about...

what is trust then?? is trust something that we all take in seriously or is it just a saying...is trust something like letting each other know about their whereabouts and not saying that it's a hassle and also being truthful to each other even you know a new guy or girl..be it a hunk or a babe...or going out with this close guy/girl friend that even has a crush on you and you do feel the same way but do you still let him/her know about it or choosing to keep quiet about it...does all these questions hit a raw nerve??

sigh, what in the world is being in love and how does a relationship really works??

well, just being random...don't get offended...am just jotting down how i felt and no offense in ANY ways to ANY person...don't take it to heart...these are just words...or should i say words that rings the bell??

sigh...i have to sleep now...long long post with lotsa words...gosh, it's 0208 hours now...i need to get some sleep...just hope and keeping my fingers crossed that they won't activate me for the next 2 days...hope it stays...am really tired...and i need a break...

Labels: just being so random in my thoughts

FINALLY i've completed my assignment & gotten my itouch

Wednesday, February 18, 2009, 9:53:00 PM

today school as usual...overslept!! guess i was too tired the night before..well, that's always the case...then after school, i went to paragon to collect my itouch...it was done..finally i get hold of it...then took 190 to nat jie's house to collect clothes then went home..

once i got home...went to do my assignment...he was so bored at home ma...then i asked him to come over lor...accompany each other awhile then he's off...next thing to do on the list was to complete my assignment...lols...then i completed it...with the help of DD and nat jie..

it's so shit lor...i just felt like...sigh..alright, this is just so random...i don't know whether i am REALLY thinking too much or.....was on the phone just now...just don't understand why he can't talk to me nicely...like giving me an attitude when i was so unsure of something...yeah i know you don't understand what i was trying to say cuz' it's something you need to see it then only you get what i meant...sigh...nevermind...i'm sorry to have caused you being so confused...well, all i can blame is me...blame myself for being so stupid...

plus i realised something...just now i was asking him this...whether i did change since the day we patched...guess what, the reply was NO...well, I AM REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF...why can't i change?? am i really still the same...i thought i have changed all along...sigh...was so so sad...do you know?

doing 902 tomorrow...luckily it's not that early but still a morning flight...

Labels: just don't understand why

a tiring day for me AGAIN!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009, 8:45:00 PM

woots...came back from 102/454..using the same aircraft as the other time i did this flight...TRA...our smallest aircraft and cutest!!! lols..our very own A319 =D hee...what a tiring day!!! fun crew not a bad flight...lols...but we're all tired...really...after flight, came back, straightaway, went to complete my assignment...till now...there's like not much completed...sigh...i just hope for more time then...argh...i'll let Mr. Lee know tomorrow...just bring it lor...incase...

well, these were the pictures from last wed...i didn't go to school but ended up going tanning lols...with grace...cuz' the day before, i wasn't sleeping real early...so i just skipped school lols...=x but nevermind, i had fun...sun was only good for awhile...after that it wanted to rain liao..so we went to get changed lor...just as we were on our way to the tram...it started to rain...man, we were damn lucky!!! lols...really had fun man!!! haha...my dear grace started her day1 of work yesterday...hope she's coping fine with the new environment =D hope it's so much better than her previous job and that was what she wanted..plus there are so many benefits =D jiayou my dear...when you're free, do ask me out man!! lols...