the best has yet to come!!

misses

Sunday, November 30, 2008, 4:49:00 PM

i missed the days you used to joke with me...

i missed the days we chatted for hours over the phone...

i missed the days we hang out together...where we can take a bus down to town & laughed about something from where we board the bus till we alighted...

i missed the days we cried together...

i missed the days you told me how you felt deep in your heart...

i missed the days you send me back home, kissing me gently on the forehead...

i missed the days you will send smses showing your care & concern for me....

i missed the days we had bolster fights at your place...

i missed the days going to your place & just slack there...even though there's nothing to do...

i missed the days where we went out together as a couple only...

i missed the days where we shared weal & woe together...

i missed the days where i waited for you at your void deck when you book out...

i missed the days where we hooked our fingers in that unique way...

i missed the days you yelled at me...

i missed the days i felt so scared when you scolded & yelled at me....

i missed the days we had our little flights here & there...

i missed the days just having fun together...

i missed the days where we can play our psp or ds just for the whole day....

i missed the days where we used to chat about our serious matters at "xiao qiang's place" or under my void deck...

i missed the days where you shower your love on me by doting me...

i missed the days i was sick & you took care of me...

i missed the days where you sent sweet messages to me & that never failed to make me smile & it really made my day if i was at work...

i missed the day that we paste the bleach postcards on your wall...i told you to buy that at suntec & suggest pasting on your wall cuz' you were asking me if you were to buy it, what can you do with it...can tell that you really like the postcards thus my suggestion =)

i missed the days smelling your butt...

i missed the days touching your botak head...

i missed the days where you laid on my legs with your bolster watching tv...

i missed the days where my friends got jealous that you came down to pick me up from school & now from work...

i missed the days where you came over & sleep...

i missed the days where i ton at your place....

i missed the days where you sayang my head...

i missed the days i grabbed onto you tight when i was in pain...

i missed the days where you accompanied me to the doctor's..

i missed the days where i went tanning with you at sentosa...

i missed the days visiting your family members...

i missed the days going to your place to have dinner...

i missed the days where i slept on your bed...the smell, yoshi, doggie & your pillow & bolster...

i missed the days where i dyed your hair for you...

i missed the days where i squeeze your pimples out & we were laughing when the pus squirted onto my face...

i missed the days laughing together...

i missed the days i went to the movies with you & you'll always remember to bring a jacket just in case i got cold...

i missed the days when you hug me real tight as if you afraid to lose me...

i missed the days we were so bold & daring...

i missed the days we went shopping together...

i missed the days where you went to rent a car & allowed me to be the first to experience your driving...

i missed the days where we can go to the arcade not caring about how much we spent on catching those bear bear...looking at the cupboard where i store all the bear bear for me, really makes me want to cry...

i missed the days you help me to download games online & pass it to me the next day we met...

i missed the days you explaining to me how to play a game...

i missed the days seeing you smile...your laughter has always brightened up my day...i really love your smile...smile more...=D

i missed the days you sms me this =D

i missed the days where we can watch movie at your place online...

i missed the days we had cup noodles when we're sick of eating outside food just for that day...

i missed the days buying things for you when i'm out alone & when i think of you, i'll just buy it no matter what...

i missed the days we played mahjong online...

i missed the days where you kissed me gently on my lips...

i missed the days where we went to the pet shop together to look at those cute rabbits & hamsters...

i missed the days we walked to lot1 as we wanted to save money...

i missed the days you were angry with me...

i missed the days where you got jealous...because you were never jealous before...

i missed the days you fetch me home from flights...asking sean to drive & topping up his fuel tank...

i missed the days we grew up together for 3 years...

i missed the days seeing you, caring for you....

i missed the days sneaking out to meet you at night...

i missed the days we went supper together with sean, alvin, yongsiang...

i missed the days where i missed you so so badly...like right now...

i missed calling you DD...that was when you created this saying that darling means DD in short...i really missed it calling you MY DD!!!

i missed the days you called me ger...it was special & unique...i really want to hear it again only from you!! only you can call me that!!!

i missed the days where you were so worried when i didn't text you when i'm back....

i missed the days where we will go to those figurine shops...

i really missed you that badly!!! i really do!!!

Labels: i miss you loads

my thanks to you..

Saturday, November 29, 2008, 3:44:00 PM

thanks for everything..

thanks for bringing me to places i've never been to...the very first time to fish & co (near park mall) was really something that i can remember vividly on my mind...it's still fresh...we both didn't know what to order...you called on to the waitress & explained that it was our first time, any recommendations...you ordered the seafood platter & me, fish & chips..the drinks we ordered was kinda weird...the green thingy with sprite...but it was nice..it's a huge cup...that was my very first time to a restaurant...i didn't know how to use the cutlery & i was looking at how you were using it...the total bill was a bomb at that age...about $59 if i don't remembered wrongly...the ambience was nice...too bad we were there in the noon..if it's at night, it would definitely be different..hmm..but it's alright...the fact that he's willing to splurge & bring me to places i've never eaten before...

then was ajisan (bugis) i didn't know what to order...but because i love spicy food, you asked me to order volcano...i did...it wasn't that spicy...i forgotten what you order but i know it's something not spicy...that's how i got to know ajisan...

last year, you wanted to just try out the hong kong kim gary outlet at vivo...you brought me there to try the food...the noodles was really nice...& the drinks were all in a jar...so cute & unique...the total bill was less than $25...food was nice too...

another was during valentine's day this year...you brought me to bosses' at vivo city...i remembered it was after my flight...you were worried that we didn't had enough time to order food...but we got there just nice...queued up cuz' there were just too many people...the dishes were ordered by you...i order one noodle which wasn't really nice...overall we felt that the food we ordered wasn't really to our liking...more to older folks...the total bill was a bomb...about close to $100 but not really nice...nice ambience though...

thanks for bringing me to east coast park a few years back...although nothing was done but just walking & enjoying the breeze of the wind & talking, i really enjoyed it...i remembered you wanted to rent the roller blades...i know how much you wanted to...but then, i didn't know how to blade..i've tried only once on my neighbour's blades...so you said it's ok..you'll teach me how to blade one day (hmm...i think you had forgotten about this...nevermind..) i was really looking forward...a few times i did mention to go to east coast, i thought you still remember that you wanted to teach me how to blade...but the reply back wasn't very pleasant...you go on saying how far it was..you don't mind going there if there's car...sigh...i was really heartbrokened...suddenly, you have changed...then the other time when lily suggested to go there for cycling, you just agreed willingly..we went there by bus...sigh...nevermind...

thanks for celebrating my 17th birthday with me...in fact, most of my birthdays, you're always there for me, organizing & celebrating...i rememberd you ordered my favourite cheese cake...i didn't get to try it...it was so sweet of you...planning, asking your aunt whether she can help book the place...although my parents wasn't there with me, my brother came...i was so happy that your friends, your family, some of my juniors & people who didn't even know me came...i still remembered when we were about to cut my cake, you gave me a kiss in front of everybody...i was so shocked & touched by what you did...it's you who made me feel that i was the most precious to you...thanks so much!!! it's all thanks to you that made my day the most memorable...seriously, that was the best birthday i ever had...the rest of my birthdays, it wasn't really good as that one...i wonder what my 20th birthday will be like...perhaps, 17 was my first birthday you ever celebrated with me...that was why...

thanks for bringing me over to meet your waigong, your other family members & your little cute nieces...kaiting & kaili...i really miss them so much..sigh...

thanks for asking me over for dinner with your parents...you know i hadn't had any home cooked meal for a very long time...

thanks for troubling sean to ask him to fetch me back from night flights that i got back...

thanks for renting the car that day & sending me to work when you didn't had a wink together with sean...

thanks for sending me home with your skate scooter...although it was really short...you took it out to play...really funny when you landed with a bump on your butt...becareful...

thanks for all the piglets you've given me...

thanks for the plushies that you caught for me at the arcades...

thanks for the omelette that you made when we travelled to marina south & had buffet at zhen fa huo hai xian..you were really creative...

thanks for the time when i fainted & you piggybacked me all the way from raffles city giordano all the way down to the taxi stand with kenneth with everyone looking..it was like somewhat of filming a show..i really felt so touched...thanks for accompanying me all the way till i see the doctor...i think that was the first & the last time you ever piggybacked me...i really missed it...i won't forget how your heart beats when i was lying on your back...it was so fast..you were afraid something happened to me...you just want to bring me to any clinic that opens...

thanks for accompanying me to take mc while i was at giordano & didn't want to go to work...

thanks for the very first time when you came over to my place, tugged me to sleep...cover me well with my blanked, asked my brother for a towel to put on my head, cleared my room & accompanied me till i slept before you left....you were really sweet...you made sure i had my medicine & made me drank lotsa water then tuck me into bed...you were really sweet...that was the first & last time you ever did that to me...i really missed it so much!!

thanks for teaching me some maths when i didn't know how to do it...

thanks for accompanying me whenever i need your care & concern...

thanks for listening to me nag about work, about friends, about my family...

thanks for treating me to food when i'm almost broke...

thanks for coming all the way down to the airport when you're free just to pick me up from work...you took a train down...i really know how far it was...thanks...

thanks for lending me your shoulder when i need a cry badly...

thanks for having bolster fights with me...haha...

thanks for walking me home every night & to the lift & kissing me on my forehead & lips before going home...this is the first time a guy ever did that to me...you're really sweet =)

thanks for showing care & concern when i'm sick..

thanks for putting up with my nonsense..

thanks for putting up with the cute side of me....

thanks for asking me along when sean wanted to go for supper...i didn't know what it was like when we were having supper at night, outside to many different places...we had many roundings too...i was so glad...that was nightlife...

thanks for helping me to go down to suntec to buy my labtop when i couldn't buy it as i was working...thanks also for helping me to install everything...

thanks for letting me know more about cars...making me in love with them too...

thanks for letting me know more about gadgets..making me buy every single gadget...the psp, psp slim & ds lite...

thanks for taking the initiative to download any new games you see online for me...

thanks for helping me get a job in giordano...

thanks for letting me know your friends & brothers...

thanks for bringing me to see the fireworks sometime this year...

thanks for bringing me to sentosa to have fun...the day was spoilt when we wanted to go tanning...ended up you wanted to try the mini go cart...we had to sit on the chairs to go all the way up & we could see the whole of sentosa...you really were scared though...we had 5 times on the rides as my friend was working there...we went up 5 times & had 5 times with the cart...it was really fun...

thanks for introducing aloe vera milkshake to me when we were going to tan with weiwen, michelle, your sister & your cousin...then we went to kbox & had fun...it was weiwen's birthday...

thanks for allowing me to stay at your place some other days cuz' i didn't want to go home...

thanks for sneaking in my house just to accompany me at night when my parents were at home...

thanks for helping me to sell my handphone...

thanks for introducing monster hunter to me & the times we went to ton at weiwen's place for the game...

thanks for accompanying my brother & asking weiwen over when monster hunter was first introduced...

thanks for accompanying me to buy the first white psp for my brother's birthday...

thanks for cheering me up when i'm so stressed or down be it my studies or work...

thanks for promising to help cheer me up when i'm thinking of failure for my bond & studies..

thanks for thinking of me, missing me & loving me...thanks for doting on me when i needed love the most...

last but not the least, thanks for everything that you've done ONLY FOR ME...

I LOVE YOU!!

Labels: sigh

woots!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008, 10:43:00 PM

2days ago, i went to the moccarnival...we went there late...sean didn't drive...he took mc last minute...haha...ended up nothing to see...went to leisure mall...wa, the place really for people to relax de...that's why it was called leisure mall haha...1 big arcade, 1 big anime shop & 1 BIG kbox!!! i like!!!! next time can try go there to have my kboxing session there haha...it's been ages since i last went too...*sobx..then we headed off to old changi road hawker centre...we walked all the way there...haha...it's a good way of saving too...=D

DD & i went to see what to order while sean ordered the herbal soup...he was too hungry to decide & look around haha...after his meal will he be looking for other food to feast on =D i didn't know what to order...accompany DD to look for the famous hokkien mee...can't find la...i spotted a shop but then they were close...so i don't know whether it was the hougang de (at the first row of the entrance) was really tired ma...accompanied mummy the past few days for lasik...had to wake up early in the morning...plus i had to work too...hmm...then i didn't know what in the world i was doing..i asked DD to order the fried carrot cake...when he called sean to ask for the seat number, i asked him why never ask sean whether want to order for him..he said, this is carrot cake, not hokkien mee...then for that moment, i was stunned...lost for words...i pulled him to the carrot cake stall & asked him to order..omg!!! but ended up he said it was alright cuz' he wanted to have that too...whew...lucky...i thought if he ordered that, he couldn't finish it up...was so worried that it would be wasted...so i walked down the stalls & look for what i wanted to eat...was still in search of the famous hokkien mee...still couldn't find it...ended up i decided to have tom yam soup with rice...it's like coming all the way just to have that...like a little stupid right?? but i didn't bother...perhaps i was too tired to even care about food...after that, i was still hungry...went to order my favourite, stingray fish...the barbecued style =) it's was really fresh man!!! i didn't have the time to take any pictures...so wasted right...the meat of the fish was so white & soft..unlike the previous few i had...it was all so hard...omg!!! *drools* haha...yummy!! we finished it up...then we took a bus to lavender & took a train back home...wow, are we tired man!!! haha...

i had diarrhoea the next day...expected...i had flight still...it was really bad lor...that my tummy got so pain...i didn't know why..i thought it might be the effect of the chilli...when i'm home i asked my brother, he was questioning me that if i had diarrhoea, only your butt will be painful, not your tummy...only then did i realise that my gastric had acted up again...it's still painful till now...i'm seeing the doctor tomorrow to find out what's the cause of it...cuz' if it's food poisoning, DD & sean would have gotten it...so i ruled out that fact...so it's suspected gastric...sigh...it's still having mild pain...but i just want to find out more from the doctor tomorrow...

had my mid-term test today...i didn't studied...just read through the book i really couldn't take it due to the pain & i went to sleep...during the afternoon, i wasn't studying at all...i came back on tues morning...wanted to study the first thing i woke up..but i didn't...i went back to sleep...didn't felt like doing anything...mood was spoilt...everything was wrong....just didn't had the appetite to eat...told my brother to buy porridge for me...since the stall that was nearby didn't open, he walked even further just to get it for me...so sweet of him =D told dad to buy porridge for dinner again...didn't felt like eating much...sigh...it was really an awful experience to go through man!!! argh...just hope i won't have to go through it again...

Labels: in pain

about yesterday's flight & my reflections

Saturday, November 22, 2008, 5:25:00 PM

had a good flight with aslinda, weina & jasmine (together with the nyp batch) tired but fun...got activated ma..haha...but then i was like so wacky on board...haha...was at the back with jasmine...she's very good compared to the other new crews i've worked with...nice girl, easy to get along with & does her work regularly, takes initiative but always has this problem of not reporting to CIC that she done this & that...lols...even aslinda noted lols...she said that, that was the best flight she ever had...she thought my name sounded like someone who's fierce & that i'm going to zap her...lols...but i really enjoyed the flight....sales was also good...was so lucky that i got activated haha...we hit a 1k man!!! hahah...just only a macau flight!!! hee....we almost had an AOG there...shit man...if not i can get to see how macau is like...haha...but i'm glad i'm home...at least i can accompany my mum....else, it's going to be tough on her as she really is as blind as a bat =)...

went home with weina...talked about her sister...& her...hee...but then, i really feel bad for making her cry....she cried cuz' she was touched of what her sister had done...not cuz' i bullied her ah...lols....she was so thankful that i shared with her those stuff...hmm...at least i can see them sisters being close once again =) hope cuz' of my words, her sister has someone to talk to...

weina, no matter what, be strong!!! everyone cares about you...bare this in mind that nobody dote you more than your sister =) smile & cheer up!!! in your sister's heart, you mean a lot to her...jiayou!!!! =D

some reflections

i've always thought that my parents doesn't care about me...especially my mum...but after today, i really know how much time i didn't spend with them....how i used to make her angry not doing the housework & how i argued with her....but today, i saw the fragile side of her....i can tell she was in pain when the anesthetics went off..she was tearing hard....she crossed her legs & shake them real hard...sigh...if i wasn't there with her...she's really helpless...now i knew how she must've felt that day i didn't accompanied her...sorry mum, i really was tired...but for today, i didn't want you to go there alone AGAIN...i want to let you know i was there when you need me....i really want to tell you that i love you a lot...just that i couldn't bring myself to say it so i'd rather say it here...no matter how hungry i was, i didn't dared to go down to get any food...i was afraid when you woke up suddenly, i'm not at your side...looking at you like that really aches my heart...that was why i never liked operations...i'm really so so afraid that you'll leave me one day just like that & making me have regrets...regrets of hatred, regrets of not having to spend time with you....i've always thought that DD's parents really treated me nice...so thoughtful of them when i'm sick & stuff...that's why i never ever liked coming home...my reason is just so simple...i don't feel loved by my family, instead i seek love from DD's family...what am i??? sometimes i admit i'm selfish...sigh...

i know, you didn't want me back home so late...don't blame DD...it's not his fault...it's my fault!!! i don't wish to be back...when i'm home, i always hear your voices of nagging...it irritates me...i just wished you would just ignore me or let me be...i'm 20 this year...i know what to do...besides, i'm not out with anybody...i'm out with DD..you don't have to worry...DD'll protect me...i'm sorry mum!!! so sorry!!

i'm so sorry that sometimes i acted like that...perhaps what i seek was your attention since i couldn't get the attention at home..you have all the attention at home...always when i'm at your place, i saw how your dad cared for you..your mum would prepare dishes you love to eat once in awhile...me?? i've been having home packed food since the day i moved in...almost 99% eating packed food...nothing else...what i wanted was home cooked food...sigh...i feel bad to always go your house to have dinner with your parents...how would your parents think of me?? doesn't she have a home to eat? why is she always here to have food?? i feel guilty i feel bad...sometimes i just need LOVE!!! please forgive me...

sometimes i just cannot stand the way you treat me...like using those words on me...swearing at me...do you know how i feel inside??? i know i can be irritating at times...but when i wanted to call you like just now, i gave you the misunderstanding that i called to checked on you, afraid you chatting online with some other girls etc...but no, i wasn't!! i just wanted to ask you whether you want me to get dinner for you?? that's all...i think it's cuz' of the way i behave that led you to think that way...i can't blame you...i'm sorry...sigh...

can somebody, please guide me to the correct path...i'm almost breaking away...the fact that i'm bubbly was because i want to live my life happily...not with sadness, not with anger, not with hatred...just live life happily...it makes me wonder sometimes whether i'm lying to myself...i always told myself this

you live a day happy, you live a day sad, why not live a day happy instead of feeling so miserable?? it's still a day...

sigh...tell me what am i supposed to do??

Labels: sigh, what went wrong??

BORED!!!

, 4:00:00 PM

i woke up at like 7am in the morning to accompany mum to do her lasik surgery...it was at paragon...my brother went to school due to his school's open house...we headed to the coffee shop without my brother...had breakfast there...while we were having our breakfast, i was thinking, it's been a long long time since i last had breakfast with them at the coffee shop on a weekend...sigh...the last time my brother was always accompanying them, i didn't...it's like finally a day with them...anyways, after that we took dad's cab to paragon...dad went to do his rounding while i accompanied mum...the place was nicely done...mum went to the toilet while i just waited outside...hmm...then suddenly, there was a fire alarm...we were so lucky that we came up earlier...had we not, we might've been trapped inside...haha...then to the place...

when we were inside, i was WOWED by the people working there...most of them were really beauties with their complexion so GOOD!!! i mean GOOD as in GOOD...with no pimples or anything!!! there was this lady, from the way she spoke (you know, the english accent) she doesn't sound local to me....then we had to wait for mum's name to be called....when called, guess what???? this pretty lady attended us...she was really pretty man!!! i suppose she's the most prettiest in the whole place ba..haha...(i sound so les!!!) haha...mum did the payment & was directed to the operations room...she told me that i could go in but don't know what happened after that..i have to wait outside...the pretty lady told me to make myself comfortable...mum passed me her bag & went in...then i looked for a place to sit...there's drinks for us to make & some light snacks...i wanted to make it initially but ended up, i was too engrossed with the people working & me playing my ds...haha...when i saw the girl with the accent, guess what?? she was japenese!!! cuz' i saw her talking to another patient in FLUENT japenese!!! omg!!! she's pretty la but not as pretty as that pretty lady...haha...was so sleepy but i had my ds so i played...then i saw this girl with the plastic covers on her eyes...she left with her bf...just as so many people were coming in, mum was out...then i saw her with this plastic thing covering her eyes...hmm...i realised that it was used to protect her eyes...she cannot touch her eyes nor rub it...so poor thing...the anesthetics went off le...she started tearing & wiping her eyes...sigh...it pains my heart to see her like that...then i called dad to ask where he was...he's on his way to the airport...fetching a passenger...so we had to wait like 30mins...so let mum wait inside the building as i didn't want dust to get into her eyes....i called dad again when it was like 12pm...he just finished sending the passenger & was on his way to meet us...i told dad to call me when he reached & explained why...dad's call came...mum had to put eye drops on her eyes at 1230pm but i was seated at the front...she didn't tell me earlier to sit with her so that i can help her with her eyes...reached home at 1245pm...quickly helped mum put the eye drops & she took her sleeping pill & went to sleep till now...i was so worried that i didn't had anything for lunch...i was so scared that if i went out, she might just wake up & need something & i'm not around...her vision really was bad...

decided to do some housework...pack a lil' but of my room & started on revision...ended up playing with nail polish...haha...i saw this orange coloured one & wanted to try on it...wanted to put on the whites to make it look like french...then i removed it & applied the pink coloured one..haha...got distracted la...haha...decided to write my post before continuing...DD smsed me to say that he's back & sean's with him..they went swimming...called him back but no answer...then online, he nudged me...saw his nick:

U CAN NOE LOTS OF NEW PPL & MAKE FRENS WITH THEM...BUT U CAN ONLI LOVE 1 PERSON IN UR HEART =D

then you know what happened?? wtf!!! go on saying those nonsense lor....what he wants i've given him...then he used such words...you know how frustrated i was anot???? argh!!! i just wanted to call him & ask him whether he wants me to buy dinner for him..that's all...ended up...we quarrelled over in msn...i was so mad at him lor...i just wanted to buy dinner over to his place & have dinner with him yet he has to be like that....wanted to study but i think i don't have the mood for anything now...argh!!! spoiler!!! my mood's gone just like that...sigh....just don't know what's the definition of a:

BOYFRIEND!!!!!!

i'm just so bored at home...i smsed him that when my brother was back...like what i've already said in my blog that i'm so afraid that i didn't went out to get lunch for myself...this is so infuriating!!! plus i didn't sleep a wink...although i was tired....why must he always spoil my day!!!! argh!!!

Labels: such a disappointment

a tired day

Thursday, November 20, 2008, 10:09:00 PM

woots!!! i just got back this morning at 10am..came back from bangalore...was actually at BT eating breakfast..haha...saw the new crews having training...got 1 guy not bad looking...the girls...hmm...average bah...haha...bangalore was really hectic man!!! first thing, the baggage problem...argh!!!! the ground staff off-loaded the bags without asking them to take out all their valuables & personal items...omg!!! i know it's out of good will that they helped us offload the bags but then, they forgotten an important factor!!! the flight was delayed...but it was alright...we got there 5mins late...came back 5mins late too...so not so bad after all...but then, we had shit during boarding & plus mr capt of the day...argh...i got activated for a 902 tomorrow...shit man..i thought i could rest...& the best part!!! nobody informed me about the mid-term test next mon lor...even...sigh...nevermind...maybe forgotten as we all have more important things to do...luckily i called weina...cuz' i'll be doing the same flight with her tomorrow ma...then after that, she told me about it & was SHOCKED that i wasn't informed...argh!!! nevermind...alright, i need my beauty sleep man...although i woke up at 5pm just now but i'm still tired....try by working on air....then you'll know how tiring it is....eeeshhhhh....

i miss him so badly too!!!

Labels: so so tired, so tired

stupid flight

Friday, November 14, 2008, 2:47:00 PM

luckily i had my darling hairiani onboard...it's been a long long time since i last worked with her...i'm really glad that she's working with me yesterday...else i really don't know what to do...tell you what happened...then only you know why i said that...

everything went smoonthly on our way to macau...pax are all well behaved...there were lots of small groups, drinking beer, playing cards...it was a great flight with such nice pax..they were all happy & it really made my day...when they disembarked, i was kinda sad cuz' i don't know whether the next two sectors will be the same...as expected, i was right...into clark, although it was a short flight, there was really peace when we were going through our f&b cart...i really wished that i can have some entertainment haha...so that time pass real quick...was already so tired by then...the last sector came...we had a first aid...not really major but really really minor case...hairiani & me were at the aft talking about her problems...was consoling her halfway when this pax came all the way to the aft & complained about a tummyache...i was so so shocked...then, she went to sat in the toilet (with the seat cover closed of course) we both moved her to the jumpseat at the aft...then i asked the pax where the pain was...i thought it was gastric cuz' the symptoms she showed & the answers given to the questions i asked were somewhat related to gastric...we both deduced to a conclusion that she had gastric...she hasn't had anything to eat since she board the plane...i quickly called joo eun & asked her to tell our CIC about the situation...she was like HUH?? what in the world man!!! explained it clearly to her & even asked her to let our CIC to report to captain although it was a small case...then she came to the aft & i don't know for what reason she went to the fwd again...by right, she should ask about the situation & render help but she just saw what happened & went off...then i went to get milo from her at the fwd & saw our CIC drinking his apple juice man!!! & when i asked him whether he had informed the captain, he said no...i was thinking then: what the hell are you waiting for?? didn't you heard the briefing captain made where about cases like this, should inform him...wth la...how can he remain so calm when there's a slight medical case on board...wth man...even though it's a slight medical case but then, what if it escalates to a big problem & that the captain doesn't know?? sigh...with that i told him to inform captain again & brought the milo to the aft...she was feeling better...so we let her lay down at the last row...whew!!!! luckily it didn't escalate to something that was so major...if not i think none of the fwd crew even cared!!! this is what we call good teamwork...argh...so unhappy la!! what a day...was already so so tired...

Labels: just want a getaway real soon..

random

Tuesday, November 11, 2008, 4:51:00 PM

being random now...haha..woke up in the morning doing nothing...decided to pack my room a little...but not really packed...then i went on to watch the last episode of hot shot...was a good ending...kinda sad that it ended so fast...but it's ok...then i went to update the previous post about alvin's bash...& now being random...i shall go have my bath before playing psp & then off to meeting him =) will have to paint my nails again...haha...tomorrow's gonna be a hectic day for me...rushing home straight after school for my flight at 5pm...luckily it's a short flight but then, i'm having a long day the very next day...four sectors...i dread doing that flight...argh!!! stupid roster...i just hope next month, it's not gonna be as packed like this...

got this from mac...cute right??

Labels: i need a holiday with him, just him

alvin's 21st birthday bash!!

, 4:29:00 PM

the birthday cake!!!

shocked with that kinda cake

making a wish

he was afraid i'd smashed his face into the cake so he stood far away

cake cutting

with his granny & brother

the 3 siblings =)

DD with his mei, qiao zhen

tongue sticking session lols..

i seriously have no idea what the hell they're doing...

my beloved & me =D

grace's idea: photo taking with all the girls =D good one!!!

you must've been really HAPPY?? all thanks to grace's suggestion =)

nonsense time!!

was a little late for the birthday bash...haha....just a day late...

dated:7th nov'08

actual birthday: 6th nov'08

but we all had great fun haha...especially our birthday boy that day hee....someone came specially for him haha...he was damn happy...

i met DD once i'm done with shopping with mummy...then we headed back home...was resting at home till about 7pm which i went to look for DD at his place...then sean came over to meet us & drove us all to lot1...there, we chose the cake for alvin...they all decided to get the power rangers cake haha...which symbolises their brotherhood & their childhood days =) was kinda funny when alvin saw the cake haha....then DD & me went to meet qiao zhen at shop & save...to get some drinks & snacks for the day...off we headed to alvin's place...haha...watched tv for a little while when grace came...when all's there, we started with the song & cutting of cake...then it was photo taking session...haha...nothing much lor...just laze around till about time...then DD & sean went to send grace home first as she has lesson tomorrow...weiwen left while they went to get drinks too...after that alvin need to send qiao zhen home & she'll sneak out later to meet us for supper...didn't expect things to change after that...i was really tired...so sean & DD send me home..i need to do perth the next day...then they headed back to alvin's place...i think end up they also never go to geylang lol...but accompanied qiao zhen till late...DD was back at about 5am so it was about that time la..haha...everyone was really tired...haha...but fun =)

Labels: great day

so so disappointed!!!

Monday, November 10, 2008, 9:07:00 PM

today i'm off.. i know,it's been a long long time...lots has happened...

just a few days ago we had a quarrel...yeah, i know...wasn't feeling that good when on flight...he used such words that pierce right through my heart...it really hurts...sigh...then after that, when i touchdown in shenzhen, i saw his sms...know what he send...

i apologise for all the previous msgs i've sent..haiz, it's all words kept in my heart for so long..i ask you over is because i know you miss me, i know you want a hug...

the second sms:
it's for me to know...i'd rather not say it here...

it really touched my heart...i was in tears when i read it...but when i thought of him scolding me for things i hadn't done, hatred has engulfed me...i really didn't had the mood to work, instead i was feeling so so down....already so pissed with the stupid schedule now that i have to rush to work after school on every wednesday & perhaps a few mondays...it's already so so tiring...& then, this has to start...i thought all was well since the day i've forgiven him??

sometimes, i only have myself to blame...i blame myself for thinking too much at times...but i just can't helped it...you want me to erase the hurt?? nah, not so easily...that hurt will still remain till the day i die...unless, if i met with an accident, which erased all my memories...those unwanted memories...i think that will be good which i can then be back to my normal self & go back to those days...sigh...sometimes i just wished that i hadn't done all those things...invading his privacy really is so bad...that was the past...if i hadn't done that maybe things wouldn't turn out like that...making him feel so frustrated that he doesn't has his own space for doing things...

i know, i can't change the fact...but for me thinking like that, it all links to some stuff...i just wished that i can think normally...as in...not those...but i can't i just can't stop myself from thinking that way...tell me how??? i wish i can let him be me just for a day...so that he can understand how i feel deep inside...how horrible it is...but i can't...can someone just help me?? save me from the misery...it sucks!!! i just wish i can erase the past!! the hurtful past!!! but i can't...thoughts about my Os will lead me to the disaster i dread!!! i just wish it can all go away...so i can stop being like this...

MELISSA WAKE UP!!!! PLEASE STOP LIVING IN A LIFE FULL OF MISERY...WE ALL LIVE IN A LIFE FULL OF HOPE...THINK LIKEWISE...IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT...

that's what i told myself everytime...but i just can't do it!!! lots has told me to leave if things didn't go well...i chose not to...i chose not to accept the fact..seriously i'm living in a world of delusion...i'm deceiving myself..but what choice do i have...i'm used to having him for 3 years...3 solid years with lots of ups & downs...telling me to let go now?? why should i?? since i'm able to keep up with all these shit, why let it bother me?? this was what i've been telling myself...how...ARGH!!!! i hate myself!!! really..why can't i be like any other normal gf that people has?? instead of going in a relationship that's full of suspicions, why not be open to each other...that is the part i've been trying to convince him...

DD, i seriously don't mind you knowing people...just let me know, is it so difficult?? i don't like & don't hide things from you...why can't you be like me...sigh...maybe it takes time...but how long more do you need?? nevermind, i've already given up...it's ok...i should just forget about the thought...sigh...

it may be so nice with the life i'm having now...DD & my mom...i just hope that this remains...as in forever...i don't want to get scolded by mom & DD...i just want life the way it is now...i don't mind being tired...but not being sad...the question is...will this remain like this or it's just only a few days...the only answer, i have to experience this again...

p.s: i don't want the life like it was...it turned out so well & after a few days, everything was back to square one...sigh...

Labels: depressed

some stuff YOU should read

, 8:42:00 PM

Sand and Stone

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT.

DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT;

AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,

WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED

TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE! AND STARTED DROWNING,

BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING,

HE WROTE ON A STONE:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE '.

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,

YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'

THE FRIEND REPLIED

'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE I T DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF

FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,

WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT.'

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,

A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE,

BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

Labels: to you

Sunday, November 2, 2008, 7:49:00 PM

super super tired after 638 yesterday..just came back home this morning...wow...crew was fun man...with madelene, yanni & kathleen (her 1st solo) was alright la...i didn't sleep...best part...wanted to rest de...but see kathleen tired let her lor...all has rested except me...i kept finding things to do...haha...finally we're back...mag just so nice...she offered to send us to yishun mrt then we take train back...guess what after that when we were in the car, we went to somewhere nearby mandai...it's near seletar reservoir...the food there was super nice man!!! i had yong tau foo soup with kuay teow...yanni had the dry version...mag had dim sum (we shared..not bad also) her husband had dumpling soup & wanton noodle (it looks nice, wanted to order but i prefer something soupy in the morn) then we talked about lots...haha...stayed there till like 10am...haha...about 2 whole solid hours spent there man...hee...after that yanni & me decided to catch a cab back home..haha...mag & her husband really so nice...send us to somewhere near the bus stop there accompany us to wait for a cab...drive there just to help us save cab fare...like cheaper...felt so bad la...they had to drive us to eat then mag paid for our food & still drive us to the bus stop there accompany us wait for cab...so nice of them =)
really had fun man!!! although i was tired...once i reached home...bed....haha

2days ago i got my new phone...sony ericsson w980 haha...that cool hp with 8gb internal memory....cheap la...extend my line also...told DD ma..he said to accompany me to buy my hp if my dad willing to pass me his IC...dad hesitated awhile...end up he allowed as he didn't want to travel there to get the hp with me..so i quickly smsed DD...know what...he said he didn't want to accompany me there anymore...he wanted to stay to watch his show..i was like...hmm...then nevermind lor...i go there first...once he's done with watching the show come find me lor...that's what i told him...after that i took bus alone lor...thought can meet him ma...end up when i reached there, got the queue number, sat there & wait, he called...asking me where i was...i was shocked & happy hee...he's coming over but will be watching the programme at kopi roti...i bought the hp le...didn't know where he was...cuz' i needed a new 3G sim card..so my line was deactivated once i got it...but i wasn't aware...cuz' the guy told me that usually it takes a day...i couldn't contact DD...wth la..called him using pay phone also cannot get him...i didn't know how till i went back to ask the person...then i finally called him & asked DD where he was...waited till the show ended & he send me back home...wanted to tag along when sean & the rest wanted to have supper...i did smsed him before he said it's alright with me tagging along...so when i asked him again later in the night when i'm back, he said he was tired AGAIN...didn't have the mood to go out for supper...i was like...ok lor...then after that went out for supper...don't know what happened he mood swing then blame me for meeting up with him these few days...he used such strong words that pierce deep inside...

he said he's getting sick & tired of meeting me...& he reminded me that he did told me before if we meet almost everyday, we'll get sick of each other...what the hell was he thinking...sigh...how could he said that...i met him everyday was cuz' of my roster...it's going to be tiring for me this month...even after school, i have flights...which i find it so ridiculous...sigh...meeting him just this whole week is to somewhat replace the other days that i can't spend with him due to my hectic schedule...sigh...can't he understand...ended up he replied saying this...

"HOW I WISH WE CAN FUCKING DON'T MEET FOR 1 WEEK"

wth!!! when i told him about my roster thingy, he said i was thinking too much...FINE!!! don't meet lor...

was online just now...he was online too...saw his nick...

"i start to miss..wtf lol"

what's this supposed to mean...is he trying to tell me that he's missing me...i really don't know la huh...did chat with him for awhile..then he said he wanted to sleep...i don't know is it cuz' i was online, he just made the excuse so as to not chat with me..but then he was offline le...i take it that he's really sleeping..he's tired...was thinking he must have went out with sean last night...but didn't tell me...else, he wouldn't be so tired...but nevermind....i just let him be..just leave him alone...let him do what he wants...perhaps he'll be happier...sigh...

having dinner soon...ta

Labels: sigh just wish to go back to the past