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countdown: 9 more months
Twitter: Quotes: We might kiss when we are alone, when nobody's watching. We might take it home, we might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared. It's just that it's delicate.
a disasterous day
Saturday, August 2, 2008, 1:56:00 PM
went out with zer on thurs..the best part was we didn't know that we could ask each other out on the 3 days i was free...tues-thurs..came back from darwin, wanted to sms her but suddenly i remembered she had her OJT..ended up she was sent back home due to she not having taken her test...well, i just felt so lame la...why haven't they got her to take the test before starting training...anyways, she was upset about all this that had happened & was pissed that she had no news on when she can take the test & start her training proper...met her at 12 but i was late...woke up late la...sian...the last night she called ma...at about 1am i wasn't asleep yet..so chatted with her lor..after that jeff called when we hung up...zer chatted with her bf ma..didn't want to disturb them cuz' they might have some stuff to say to each other...chatted with jeff till about 2 then went to sleep...talked about how unhappy i was with the pay & stuff & he, enjoying so much priviledges in jetstar...

coming back to meeting zer, we went to thai express to have tom yam noodles..my, it was great..been having craving for it since don't know when..it wasn't as spicy though...added my own chillli...received an sms from sam regarding my blog...i was shocked..i SWEAR TO GOD that i didn't realised we had the same skin...

went to suntec to look for her hp..she wanted to get the one that amelia had...hee...linda also had it..i told her get the white de la...nice lor...went to only 2 shops & suddenly we past by this shop where they were playing xiao zhu's song..forgotten what song la but it goes I, III....haha...she suggested going to k, since we're just an escalator away...go lor since pay arrived...we got the students package which was a flat rate of $14.50 cheap man...sang till about 730 before they asked us to get out...went to have dinner at pepper lunch...i ordered the salmon pasta cuz' nothing appetize me...was feeling down recently, all thanks to zer that cheered me up...really enjoyed the day!!

love you to bits man sis!!! you made my day!! =D

yesterday was even worse..sigh..i didn't know why la but then DD said that he'll be back late..i was pondering, i've already informed him that i'm working & can't meet him only on sat..he said he'll come over to meet me under my block..i was happy he took the effort..appreciated it very much..
had a great flight yesterday with tricia, linda & theresa =) it was so fun lor!!! when touchdown into SIN, i didn't msg DD like i used to cuz' even though i informed him, he wouldn't reply anyway...i did let him know that i was back from KL & doing the next 2 sectors to bangkok..he said ok, he's preparing to go to the soccer match that causes him to book out late...i didn't bothered replying..sigh...did told him that when i board the cab will let him know..
called him when we were waiting for uncle toni...called twice, he didn't answer..nevermind...i didn't want to flood his cell with my calls...like i did previously...didn't want him to call me irritating...wth...was boiling with blood le..i don't know why...sigh...i was already having my suspicion on him...i thought he was seeing another girl behind my back AGAIN!! he's just behaving too suspiciously...he called back & by the time he called, i looked at the time..it was 30mins since i last called him...wth...took him so long....listen to what he has to say..

me: why it took you so long to call me back
DD: i didn't realise it cuz' my hp was in silent mode...
me: ok, why so noisy..
DD: i'm playing red alert..long time never play liao
me: ok..
DD: so you want me to go down find you now..
me: no la, still got 2 more people to go
DD: ok lor..
me: you tired ma?
DD: actually a little la
me: (was thinking since he said this already) ok lor, then nevermind lor don't need meet lor
DD: ok lor...you reached home ler let me know..
me: (was shocked..thought he would've insisted that he come) ok bye (as i was pissed)

wth la...just felt so hurt man...he was the one who promised on wed that he'll meet me...then now cuz' he's tired, he didn't want to meet..wth man!! then i'm not la...i came back from flight lei...you book out, eaten, showered, can always take a nap while waiting for me what...instead he played games..if he was tired, he would've slept & not playing games..i msged him that...he said he played games while waiting for me...what an excuse...i was too angry to believe what he was saying...why so many excuse when you never answer my call...usually when i board the cab, i call him, he'll answer immediately de lor...i want to trust him but tell me la, how can i??

me: if u were tired, u wudnt b playing games, if u're playing games, i'd rather u meet me
DD: hello, u were e one ask me not to meet as i was tired, if u wan me to meet u, next time dun say so much, i will auto go meet u..

wth!!! what kind of attitude is that!! i hao xin lor..thought he was tired let him rest, although i was sad we can't meet la...but then sigh...this was what i got in return...i just want to see him that badly, is it wrong?? i missed him that badly, is it wrong of me??

i really am mad with myself..mad at why i had such thinking that he's seeing another..i wanted to trust him but i just can't...why can't things just be like the way it was last time when we first started...i just can't erase the memory i had that he once betrayed me...i just want him that badly...is it too much?? sigh...i really want to stop myself from having this thinking...been having bad dreams about this for the past few days...i just want to forget this incident...why can't i?? is it just so difficult to?? why must i not trust him??

i just felt so difficult to breathe, i don't want to let go, i really love him...i just hate myself!!!

just hope that i won't get called up for any flights...doing darwin tomorrow...sian...life just sucks man!!

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