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countdown: 9 more months
Twitter: Quotes: We might kiss when we are alone, when nobody's watching. We might take it home, we might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared. It's just that it's delicate.
are things getting way out of hand?
Sunday, December 7, 2008, 11:26:00 AM
i got back this morning..was really tired...it was after so long did i took eddy!!! he was so nice to help me & saleha got a cab...didn't want to be in seperate cab though...haha...but then no choice..i paid a dollar more to get home...squeeze with people i don't know....

days has been much better..*i'm still trying* but then it's still hard...i don't know what happened to me la...for the past few days going to work you know what?????

i felt just so suddenly my mind went just white...then i will have that kind of weird feeling & all of a sudden i can't see anything *even though i'm sitting down* i tried to do something so that i won't feel this way...still the same..this comes & goes...hmm...i don't know why & what happened...i wanted to call you as always, when i'm having this kind of problem, you will always know what to do but now, i know i can't...

*melissa, you have to be stronger...* i told myself that...but yet each day passes & i'm getting weaker...sigh...

on my flight yesterday, praveen said that i've grown slimmer...i was like shocked...he was the first person who told me that after so long...did i really grown slimmer?? what happened to me?? all these that's coming to me...sigh...

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sigh...
Friday, December 5, 2008, 9:20:00 AM
i don't know why but i just couldn't sleep...had a talk with aiai & my darling val...sigh...all i can say for now is to just take a step slowly...yeah i know it really hurts so much that i kept bleeding but i know that this should be better for us...many times i couldn't & i end up getting all emotional...am tired now...i didn't sleep well last night...kept waking up every hour...but it's ok...going for my 4sectors later...till about 11 i'm back...till then, i just hope that he'll still stay in touch with me...will sms me, will call me, will still listen to what i have to say, what problems i have...

like how we were the last time BUT as a best friend, as a close friend...i won't think about anything but just friends...like what you told me, i'm the next closest person to you as we've been together for 3 years...we know almost everything about each other...sigh...it HURTS lots...it HURTS deep down...but then, i just wish for now that things will get better slowly...maybe it's better for him at least it doesn't make him feel guilty anymore..he has his own life, his own things to do, getting to know more new people, new girls...yes, of course i can't take it but it's a FACT i have to accept...he told me to grow up...i shall...sigh...even there are still thoughts about us getting back together, like what people say, the higher the hopes, the higher the disappointment...sigh...i shall just walk slowly...even how hard it is i shall...

please...give me the strength....sigh...i need to be strong...

i'm thankful that he didn't ignore me...thankful that he still cared...but only as a friend...thankful that he still wants to celebrate my birthday next month together with me knowing that i won't have a happy birthday & i'll be alone...yes, i just hope we can still talk normally even though sometimes i get emotional....just being myself...but i need time...will talk to you on your birthday but again, i don't mean anything...

although i'm gone, i just want to let you know,
i've never regretted being your girl....
never regretted being betrayed...
never regretted the times we had...
never regretted the quarrels we had...
never regretted you were once mine...
please, treasure those memories don't forget me...
i'll still look for you when i'm down, when i need you the most...but just as a friend, a friend who's there when they're feeling down...

i promise i'll take my gastric medication every night although i hadn't been a good girl for the past few days...i promise to take good care of myself...the next time i need someone to accompany me to the doctor regards to the same problem, i just hope you'll be there...you know my situation, you know it well...just hope you'll be there to lend me helping hand & to be there just for me...just hope that you'll ask me out for supper as i really want to know places that sells good food...hope you'll still bring me around with sean & the rest as a friend...nothing else =D

that's all i longed for...thanks

memories etched & ended on the 28th nov'08

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